So, what makes this so uncomfortable for me?  Why does getting in front of people and getting my product out there bother me so much?  I think Chris Dixon nails it on the head in his post, it’s the fear of rejection. Rejection hits a primal feeling of being inadequate and not being “good enough” and it totally f*’s with your mind.  One technique that really has been helping me is a technique I picked up in Tim Ferris’ book the 4 hour work week.  When I’m about to do something that scares the bejeezus out of me, I envision getting rejected (and failing) and I imagine my life a year from now, now that I got rejected.  Usually,  the rejection has no truly damaging effect on my life; it’s inconsequential.   From what I’ve seen in the last 4 – 5 years, it really has played out this way.  Now I envision, what happens if everything goes right – and wow, my life a year from now could be quite awesome!

When I started running a development shop 5 years ago, I was SO SCARED about pitching a high rate for the work UDFI was doing.  But you know what happened?  I started asking for higher rates and I got MORE work.  I definitely got some emails asking if I was insane and rejecting my bids, but I can’t remember who it was from or what company it was…. in other words, it was inconsequential.  It really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and I actually got more work from raising my rates!

I’m starting to see that same pattern now as I start getting feedback from people about Snpptz.  In the beginning I was definitely scared to get feedback.   I would think, ‘OMG, what are they going to say?  What if they say it sucks balls?’  Then I picture the worst possible scenario in my head – a person laughing his ass of at my product, saying it sucks balls.    So, where am I a year from now if the start-up really does suck balls?  Probably making money as a programmer from the experience I gained developing the product.  Hmmm… not to bad.  Interestingly enough, what I actually get back from most people I talk to is awesome feedback about the product and better ways to improve it!

The other thing I mentioned is getting out there and meeting people and networking.  I think this is the toughest part and the part where quite honestly, where I’ve failed before in the past – starting to build relationships.  This is absolutely HUGELY, SUPER IMPORTANTE, QUADRUPLE STAR important.  Everything that I’ve seen/heard/read about comes down to this, it’s all about who you know in the start-up scene.  You need to meet people. If you’ve got a VC dad, then you probably don’t,  but if you’re like me, a person who’s come from a middle class family, with really no connections in the industry, you need to get out there to meet people.

So what’s the best way to do this?  For me it’s getting directed feedback on Snpptz and then making sure they’re always in the loop later.  Another HUGELY, SUPER IMPORTANTE, QUADRUPLE STAR point – MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN AND GIVE THEM FEEDBACK.  When I say feedback, I mean show them you’re listening.  Show them that what they’ve said means something to you.  I’ve gotten questions in the past and have sat down with people to talk about their ideas.  But it’s like they just wanted to talk for the sake of talking and didn’t even pay attention to what I was saying.  It made it feel like it was a huge waste of my time.  So don’t make it feel like it was a waste of their time.  Even if you disagree with them, at least write something out explaining why you disagree and why you went the other direction.

Hopefully this has helped some readers.  If any entrepreneurs out there are going through some of this, feel free to email me or write in the comments.  I love talking about ways to overcome these fears.   If you have some tips of your own, I’d love to hear them!

People in NY have a good bullshit detector – If you aren’t serious about what you’re doing, NYC will eat you up and kick you to the curb.  People in New York don’t really have time for bullshit.  They want to know what you’re doing and they want you to explain it in 1 sentence.  I’m not talking about VC’s or Angel’s either… i’m talking about my friends.  I’ll admit at times, I’m a little all-over-the-place because of my ADD and bringing my ideas to my friends forces me to come up with a congruent thought that they can understand.

Small Community – You’d imagine this would be a bad thing, but I’m beginning to think that this is a good thing.  I think I have more access to VC’s and Angels in the area because there are a handful around.  Granted I haven’t talked to any (yet), but I do see them frequently at Meetups and other various events.

Lets go grab a beer after work – Most people think that Silicon Valley would be a great place to socialize, but from what I can see, it’s not!  Most people don’t grab beers after work and only can do things with people who live near each other.  My favorite thing about working at my first corporate job was that every thursday we would go get trashed at a bar in the city and I could take a cab home and only worry about where I was going to puke and not about how I was going to actually get home.

Innovative Community not just in tech – New York is a cross section of several industries – fashion, finance, technology, advertising, sports, and media.  While I think you definitely will continue to see really hard core technology come out of the Valley, I believe you’ll really start to see more innovative technology (while maybe not being too hard-core tech) come out of these other areas from NY companies – ie. stackoverflow, gilt group, foursquare.  While we may not be as techie as the Valley (yet), we are pushing the boundaries when it comes to these other industries.

I can’t get a fucking coffee without driving – Sorry, SV… NY is just way too convenient to get stuff like cofee.  If I want a coffee I wake up, walk down the block and get one.  In SF I have to get in my car, drive to a local spot.  UNACCEPTABLE.

Startup finances can be confusing – What better place to get advice than a city known for finance!

If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere – Doing a startup here is definitely not without its challenges.  I’d call them out, but I don’t want to add to the criticisms out there on the net.  But if it isn’t a challenge, where would the fun be in doing a startup!  In Brazilian Jujitsu, you’re constantly put to the test at the end of every class.  People choke you to the point where you’re seeing stars, put you in armlocks that make your arm feel like it’s going to break, put your joints in positions they’re not supposed to go in.  But you know what?  At end of every class you’re better for it.  Your brain tells you, ‘holy shit dave, you can take the pain, you can deal with it, now figure a way out, figure out a counter’.  Same thing with this startup stuff, i’ve been at it for 4 years now, while it hasn’t worked out (yet), i’ve learned so much along the way and i’ve been stretched to my boundaries and I haven’t broken yet!  Eventually I know i’ll get that triangle choke on an idea.  And when I do, you better get ready to tap!

I have to say one thing though, an entrepreneur should be willing to be able to live with the ups and downs that come from being an Entrepreneur.  God knows that it’s not fun failing all the time.  I think that tenacity can be taught as well, as long as they know that failure is just part of the ride.

On the same note, the tech crunch article talks about the Kaufmann foundation research into it, and they believe that entrepreneurship can be taught and actually have programs designed to teach starting entrepreneurs the skills necessary to succeed.  The program is called FastTrac and it’s free, but only provided to those who are accepted into the program.  Application here.

http://techcrunch.com/2010/02/27/can-entrepreneurs-be-made